Green Eyed Monster

I have a confession to make I’m jealous, I actually didn’t realise the vast opportunities that are going by me and I can’t take any of them as I don’t have the time because I’m writing my dissertation and I haven’t graduated yet. To make matters worse, I thought writing in my spare time was a good thing, having this blog was a GOOD THING… Then reality hit me that there are over 6 billion people on this planet actually is it at 7? Even worse, that’s a lot of people… Did I really expect to think ‘Yeah, I’m the only one that blogs the only one that will get somewhere because I have something extra?’ No… So many other people do the same bloody thing and now I’m back to being a fish in the sea because I don’t have that ‘specialness’ that will make me stand out because when me and my classmates go to apply for jobs we will all have the same degree and have studied the same module where it was compulsory to have a blog, now I’m just like everyone else… it’s so tough

To make matter worse, I love my best friend were just like sisters but we also argue to and annoy each other just as much but I can’t help but feel annoyed that she is taking my dream… I have always wanted to be a writer and she told me recently that she now wants to go into journalism for her masters. The thing is she wants to go into fashion and to be honest for those who read myworkexperiencediary you will see in my diary entry Thursday 23rd January I talk about where my dream stemmed from but my problem is I have never cared about fashion I could train myself too and become good at what clothes go with what BUTΒ my heart wouldn’t be in it. Anyone can educate themselves on an area to become better but Β I don’t have that thing for fashion I’ve never been obsessed with clothes, make up and beauty, I don’t buy vogue to read for fun I buy writers magazine in order to improve myself as a writer, for my birthday I didn’t ask for make up or clothes I asked for a TYPEWRITER for the fun of being able to write on a vintage machine to go back to the original meaning of what journalism meant.

I feel like every worry that a student has before they graduate have come to me all at once I never had them because I never pictured having the door slammed in my face or never making it big, now I’m kind of starting to freak out! What if I never make it?! Competition is tough and with more people fighting for the same job rejection gets harder to deal with, I never picture myself failing but sometimes it annoys me how people can make fun of me for having this blog or for commenting on the things I write and then compete for the same thing as if to try and put me down just because I enjoy writing, don’t shit on it I wouldn’t do the same to you!

Love,

An annoyed Lifeisfunbeingme XΒ 

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