White Space

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So your emails haven’t been buzzing with notifications that there is movement on lifeisfunbeingme lately and its because I’ve been feeling really sad as well as constantly being anxious and to top it off I had 2 huge panic attacks which left me shaken for a while. 

To you guys it might sound strange but my method to help calm me down and assure myself that I’m only experiencing a palpation is thinking of the colour white. It really helps me because when you think of white its bright, calm and its clear. But when I’m having a panic attack my mind kind of looks like a massive brainstorm of the many unresolved issues that I have which lately I just can’t seem to overcome.

I had a bit of a heart to heart with my dad who said something quite inspiring to me that has made me decide enough is enough! He said ‘People who end up alone are cowards because they are afraid of living life and accepting the challenges that it throws at you’ It kind of upset me because he almost described… well, me. BUT I’ve decided; I’m done being afraid all the time, I’m done being scared to the point where I alienate myself from people. I’m done allowing bullies to still control how I think about myself! I’m going to get over this because I want to live, I don’t want to be scared anymore so here’s my happy ending to 2014… I faced the biggest demon of all, the person who has made me feel like this in the first place and I feel great. For the rest, I’ve bought a list book (obviously from Paperchase) and I’m going to do one thing that terrifies me every single day because its time I face my demons one by one…

So here’s to a fearless me and THE year where I finally find myself again, 2015 I’m ready! 

It feels good to be back… I’ve missed this… 

See you soon 🙂 

Love,
Lifeisfunbeingme X 

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