You should know better…

Hands up if you’re also the first born in your family?!…

Just know that if you answered ‘Yes’ to this question, me and you are going to get on just fine. And it is because we have our younger siblings to thank for as they bring us ‘elders’ together…

As soon as you find yourself establishing with someone, that they are the youngest in their family and you are the oldest. You immediately find that it is just like being around your siblings…Again. (Yawn.) Because you are both bickering about all the things that were unfair in your lives while you were growing up! Am I right or wrong?! Well I’ll tell you what fellow young sibling I didn’t sign up for motherhood at the age of about 4 years old and it is kind of all your fault…

Because I was born first, I had to grow up already programmed with motherhood inside me, I had to grow up being a caring person and having the option to be selfish or only think about myself was NOT allowed because YOU had to come along.

All my life I was always the one who had to know better! Who apparently already knew right from wrong because she had younger siblings…

No you are right…

Sorry Mum and Dad, I mean after all… I have lived this life before and living it the third time on a loop you would have thought I would have finally got it right. I mean are you kidding me?! How am I supposed to know best?! Remember that this is my first time growing up too! I’m still finding myself and mistakes are always going to be along the horizon, well I know they are always going to be along mine because I’m an idiot and everyone knows that. But still just because they are younger than me and life is overwhelming, I’m supposed to give them a break?! Why?! No one did it for me?! So why should I need to guide my younger siblings through the right and wrong?! How about… Mum and Dad, you tell them to be their own person, not copy what choices I decide to make and get them to make their own decisions?!

I’m pretty sure that I didn’t tell you that while I grow up and live my life I also want to have the responsibility of caring for someone else and showing them right from wrong. That  responsibility there is for when you have kids and because I feel like I’ve had a taste of that pretty much all my life. Real ‘motherhood’ is the last thing on my mind, that dream there is being pushed back for at least another 10 years.

So while I’m a 20 something idiot finding myself getting really close to my mid-20’s… Ahhh scary thought, we will save that thought for another blogpost. I find that when I look around me, most of my friends are already like real adults such as having to pay for their mortgage, raising their kids… some are even on their second! Some are even planning their wedding day!

Because being the ‘caring eldest’ is all I’ve ever known without having the world and environment around you also telling you who you are meant to be; all of the above listed sends me running in the opposite direction… why on earth would I want that kind of commitment now?!

And I think that being the eldest is the reason why I’m such a ‘make the most of everything’ kind of person, a ‘party girl’ kind of person and definitely a ‘never want to grow up, never want any responsibility kind of person.’ And it’s because I never had that growing up. It is always true, you always want what you can’t have and so I blame the girl that I am outside of my 9-5 routine idiocy on the fact that I was born first. Nobody ever wants to act the oldest.

And so I find myself trying not to take life too seriously and when the opportunity of being able to act like a child comes my way, I will take that opportunity by the horns! So forgive me if being the eldest has made me realise that I want to spend my twenties being the most narcissistic person you can think of, I mean my youngest sibling have been doing that all their lives, so why can’t I?! I didn’t want to be born programmed to care, I want to be free…

And so my advice to you young ones reading this is to grow up by yourself and while it is scary doing so. Definitely do not follow us ‘elders’, or take our advice and for God sake don’t even think to look up to us! Just because we are older than you does not mean we know best because we literally have no clue what we are doing! We have always had to just roll with it and most importantly I’d like to highlight we’ve always done it alone and just because YOU are younger than me does not mean you should get a free hall pass because we are meant to know best. Figure it out yourself!

No matter what stage we are in our lives, us ‘elders’ are basically just winging it, hoping for the best outcome of any given situation or experience and making sure we keep our fingers crossed because we know that there is always a possibility it may not be the case, remember we are the ones that know because we are the ones that always make the mistakes.

Love,
Lifeisfunbeingme X

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